Samwise is Sad

So, the markets are a complete disaster area today — even gold is down, and marginal safe haven commodity silver (SLV) has bombed atrociously just after climbing out of the crater of a crash from two months back.  But I had to laugh when I looked at CNN and found them reusing an image which first appeared the other day:

Markets dive on economy fears

Doesn't this guy look a little familiar?

This guy looks just like someone we know well — someone we know and love from cinema! It’s…

Samwise Gamgee having a bad day

Seriously, this guy — crumpled, despairing, on the edge of tears — looks just like Sam after Gollum convinced Frodo that Sam wanted the ring for himself, up above Minas Morgul.  Samwise the Grave, trapped in a bull pit, watching money flow out of the market and into mattresses across the world.  Poor guy.

If hardship brings out the best in us (as Americans often say, although often at the wrong moments), the stock markets often bring out the worst in us: fear and greed.  This July definitely belongs to fear, almost as much as all of 2009 did.  Fear is a destructive force all it’s own.  If only these issues could be solved with a short sword and a little starlight captured in a vial of mirror water…

Fight on, Samwise!

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The Lost Paintings

When a painting goes to heaven, it is carefully cleaned, scrubbed, fluffed, lacquered, and ceremonially ensconced in a Temple of Art.  Like so:

Mona Lisa, looking uncharacteristically complacent

Mona Lisa -- is that a smile???

Ever wondered what happens to a painting that was misconceived and sinfully unpleasant to look at? A painting that, like a scruffy and unsociable tomcat, could not find a home?

I will tell you what happens to these paintings.

It is not a pretty thing.

Blue Girl in Orange World #1

Blue Girl in Orange World #1

Blue Girl in Orange World #2

Blue Girl in Orange World #2

Blue Girl in Orange World #3

Blue Girl in Orange World #3

Blue Girl in Orange World #4

Blue Girl in Orange World #4

It’s a sad thing, but it happens — and the number of of the damned outweighs the number of the sainted a thousand to one.

Movie Night: Zombieland!

Weather.com assures me that tonight is going to be a beautiful night.  And so, now the sun is setting a little earlier, it is finally time to set up the projector and the big screen out on the back deck and have a movie night.  Anyone who would care to come is welcome; bring a friend if you like, and whatever beverages you’d prefer.  An RSVP would be appreciated but if you’re playing the evening by ear and decide to show up at the last minute, that’s cool too.

What I’ll provide: lukewarm beer, hot water for tea, basic hydration, seating, and a cheery fire.  And there will of course be popcorn available in a variety of pleasing flavors and textures.

What you should bring: a sweatshirt and/or blanket that doesn’t mind being exposed to wood smoke, along with any beverages or snacks you would like.

Tonight’s movie will be Zombieland: one hour and twenty-one minutes of pure, blood-soaked silliness.

When: tonight, beginning at 9PM.  The movie will start at about 9:45 PM and run until about 11:15 PM.

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Writing Soundtracks is Hard Work

Bad ComposerMy friend Michael asked me to take a stab at putting together some soundtrack music for a film he is working on (in fact, he just locked the script — which deserves enormous congratulations).  Being a basically foolish person, I agreed.

Here’s what I have so far:

Far Trader – Title Theme

I have a long to-do list for it: the tempo fluctuations need to feel more natural throughout; the flute can NOT vibrato like that, it’s just NOT natural!; and the synthesizer in the middle really just sounds kind of bad. But I am rather proud of the general shape of the confoun — err — composition. Another dozen hours of work should yield something almost bearable to listen to.

Remind me not to apply for Hans Zimmer’s job when he dies — may he live forever making beautiful soundtracks.  I think that his Time theme from Inception was actually a large part of the reason why I liked the movie.

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Political Grievance – The Budget Deficit!

This appears to be the second in what is destined to be a series of self-righteous gripe sessions.    I have noticed recently that my bouts of moral indignation are almost *always* immediately preceded by a hefty dose of news. Last time I read alternet.org or foxnews, I had to go spend some *serious* quality time getting it all out of my system.

“The reason default is no better idea today than when Newt Gingrich tried it in 1995, is it … would give the president an opportunity to blame Republicans for a bad economy…  If we go into default, [Obama] will say Republicans are making the economy worse…  and all of the sudden, we have co-ownership of the economy. That is a very bad position going into the election.” (italics mine)

Mitch McConnell, Senate Minority Leader

I actually think highly of a number of McConnell’s moderate stances, and I don’t mean to single him out.  But I mean, c’mon.  I know this is pointed out consistently, but it is one of those metrics that seems to evaporates on contact with the human brain.  I have little faith that endless repetition will make much difference, but the numbers deserve to be repeated.  Consider wikipedia’s breakdown of national debt by presidential term, going right back to the beginning of the New Deal (those socialists!).  If you evaluate it by party, your brain will probably pick up intuitively on the fact that the national debt has actually increased substantially less under democratic presidents than it has under republican ones.   In fact, crunching the numbers will indicate that the debt has actually decreased under democratic leadership in aggregate, and increased under republican guidance.  So, if you bought the whole equation linking democrats with big government and pork barrel spending, you need to go listen to this youtube clip, like, stat.  Sorry.

Now, for those among you — party faithful to the hilt, card carriers, perhaps — who now feel vindicated in your faith in the democratic party: please listen to this youtube clip here.  That’s right.  Take it like the liberal, bleeding heart humanists you are.  Again, the numbers speak clearly: democrats has overwhelmingly been in charge of both congress and the senate over the last 65 years.  AHA!

These numbers indicate two things: first (and less importantly), neither party represents the qualities the other thinks that it does.  Comparatively, democrats are NOT big spenders and mainstream republicans are NOT business-focused, belt-tightening spendthrifts.  In many ways, they are the Pepsi and Coke of politics: everyone (except this guy) can tell you what their preference is, but they are only trivially different in nutritional content (oh, I’m sorry — Pepsi does have less sodium).  What they have in common radically outweighs the difference between them but still makes people swear, fume, and argue.  Personally, I prefer Belgian beer — I suppose that makes me an independent.

The second thing I would draw from these numbers — and you should too, by gum — is that we all have co-ownership of the economy.  McConnell was obviously speaking “politically” — as if that’s any excuse — when he warned against creating the appearance of Republican ownership of economic problems.  In a more pragmatic sense, though, both parties own this debt.  Any focus on finger pointing, one-upmanship, or political posturing is simply a waste of time.  Remember the old patriotic axiom from elementary school history that “divided we fall, united we stand”?  It is probably just as reliable as most axioms (which is to say, not at all) but does underscore the point that division, political or otherwise, is good for conquest but bad for survival.  We should not have to decide between increasing taxes and reducing spending; we should do both — just like the vast majority of qualified economists have been saying for years.

I don’t imagine qualified economists are very popular in Washington.

The temptation to take a side, externalize all failure and error to the other side, and stand back with a sense of damaged righteousness — must be a very ancient human instinct. How can we possibly face the unexplored complexities of the modern world if we cannot put aside such a childish sensibility?

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Language Grievance

Not such a good night’s sleep, alas, but the morning has promise.

Was ingesting my usual dose of morning news when I came across this article:

Washington (CNN) — It’s mid-June, a perfect time to visit the beach to watch porpoises play in the surf or seagulls strut the sand — or you could watch a formation of Marine Corps warplanes darting over the shore at hundreds of miles per hour…  [i]t’s just part of a major Marine Corps exercise called Exercise Mailed Fist (translation: armored fist).

and was struck immediately by a pet peeve.  The word “mailed” is an English word referring to a specific type of armor.

Grievance Part 1: since the word is English already (the same language used throughout the entirety of the article), it does not need translation.  It may perhaps require explanation — but there is a difference between the two.

Grievance Part 2: who the hell makes up these operation names?  A sword-and-sandal-obsessed middle schooler, perhaps?  It may be so, based on Cracked.com’s list of “uninspiring” military operation names — operation “Elfin Cove” and operation “Rapier Thrust” both fall into a similar vane.

Okay, that wraps up my rant for this lovely AM.

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