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The Luck of the Irish

From My Life in the Irish Brigade: The Civil War Memoirs of Private William McCarter :

The charge was stalled by a wooden rail fence about 60 yards from the Southern line.  The intense fire from Cobb’s Georgians splintered the fence, spattered mud in all directions, and decimated those men moving up behind it.  But still, the Irish came on.

A strange and macabre sound was heard above the exploding artillery shells and pathetic screams of the wounded.  The Confederates were cheering and applauding, overcome by the bravery of their Irish foe.  Maj. Gen. George Pickett of Gettysburg fame wrote after the battle to his fiancée: “Your soldier’s heart almost stood still as he watched those sons of Erin fearlessly rush to their death.  The brilliant assault on Marye’s Heights of their Irish Brigade was beyond description.  Why, my darling, we forgot they were fighting us, and cheer after cheer at their fearlessness went up along our lines.”

Cathy and I are watching Ken Burn’s take on the Civil War.  Usually, the romanticized view (if there is any such thing left) is cut from the heart of the events being described.  Every so often, though, a nugget will slip through.  There is something gratifying about the idea: an enemy, doomed by fate, inferior economic capacity, and moral incorrectness, losing control of themselves and being moved against their will to cheer the bravery and noble self-sacrifice of the “good guys.”   Alas, it is all tosh.  All you have to do is go back a few paragraphs in the narrative (currently published in fragments here) to find out that a large part of Confederate general Cobb’s 28th Massachusetts were, like their foes, recently immigrated Irish.  And at this point in the war — a cold, late December in 1862 — any romantic notions about the war had long since been expelled.  For the most part, these were countrymen on unfamiliar territory, fighting for different sides of a fractured dream of opportunity, held in position by the likelihood of being shot if they dared desert.

The simplified version is much more satisfying.

As a lengthy aside, I must say that the confederates offered much more compelling heroes.  There was, of course, Lee, the genteel and conflicted genius of 1860s warfare; Albert Sidney Johnston, who died with his boot full of blood because he had sent his personal physician to take care of some captured Union soldiers; Stonewall Jackson, of course, the originally and absolutely coldblooded Saint of Killers; and Nathan Bedford Forrest, who could have been an inspiration for Neo fighting against a crowd of Federalist Agent Smiths and, after serving as the KKK’s first grand wizard, urged the dissolution of the Klan before the institution had become the monstrous legend we know and despite today.  All I’m saying here is that, if I were playing a video game version of the Civil War, I would generally favor the confederacy.  It was morally insupportable, of course (like Lincoln, who embraced emancipation mostly because of its political expediency!), but much more satisfying on a purely emotional level.  McClellan was a putz, and Sherman lacked Stonewall’s cool factor; I’d prefer not to get a musket to the face serving either of them.

I wrote most of this thinking of the veterans of our recent wars in Iraq (both of them) and Afghanistan (only one, but reaaaaaally stretched out) and thinking about the confusion around how these wars, and their human cost, are painted in modern media.  In years to come, it is possible that the hazy lens of retrospection will cast an aura of subdued heroism over these conflicts.  The sharp edges of meaning and experience decay so quickly in human time; by the time I am on my deathbed, perhaps the world will largely regard these events as inevitable, perhaps even accidentally useful: the aging and decrepit West strikes out in untargeted frustration, and the East awakens from its Feudal Sleep and assumes its proper place in the world…  More likely, some of us will look back and say, whatever happened to such selfless heroism as that?  And the rest of us — whoever we are at that time — will say, what the hell are you talking about?  Those young people died for something that no one, least of all the politicians of the time, understood properly.

Such is history.  Which is why I don’t study it anymore, except accidentally =)

 

 

Bleh

It has been a very pleasant weekend. For one thing, it’s the second weekend in recent memory I haven’t been scrambling to finish off one of our lingering home improvement projects or traveling — yay! Plus, I got to spend some time with my sister, the sun came out for an encore, and none of my cats left feces smeared down the front of my jeans. It was awesome!

But, alas — sometimes, such good times are destined to get the finger from fate. In this blog post, I simply intend to pass along a little bit of the sentiment that fate — or, as Cathy often refers to it, “Grace” — has directed to me this fine evening:

Once More, With Enthusiasm!

The Lost Paintings

When a painting goes to heaven, it is carefully cleaned, scrubbed, fluffed, lacquered, and ceremonially ensconced in a Temple of Art.  Like so:

Mona Lisa, looking uncharacteristically complacent

Mona Lisa -- is that a smile???

Ever wondered what happens to a painting that was misconceived and sinfully unpleasant to look at? A painting that, like a scruffy and unsociable tomcat, could not find a home?

I will tell you what happens to these paintings.

It is not a pretty thing.

Blue Girl in Orange World #1

Blue Girl in Orange World #1

Blue Girl in Orange World #2

Blue Girl in Orange World #2

Blue Girl in Orange World #3

Blue Girl in Orange World #3

Blue Girl in Orange World #4

Blue Girl in Orange World #4

It’s a sad thing, but it happens — and the number of of the damned outweighs the number of the sainted a thousand to one.

Writing Soundtracks is Hard Work

Bad ComposerMy friend Michael asked me to take a stab at putting together some soundtrack music for a film he is working on (in fact, he just locked the script — which deserves enormous congratulations).  Being a basically foolish person, I agreed.

Here’s what I have so far:

Far Trader – Title Theme

I have a long to-do list for it: the tempo fluctuations need to feel more natural throughout; the flute can NOT vibrato like that, it’s just NOT natural!; and the synthesizer in the middle really just sounds kind of bad. But I am rather proud of the general shape of the confoun — err — composition. Another dozen hours of work should yield something almost bearable to listen to.

Remind me not to apply for Hans Zimmer’s job when he dies — may he live forever making beautiful soundtracks.  I think that his Time theme from Inception was actually a large part of the reason why I liked the movie.

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Spring Fever!

I prefer to imagine that a huge audience of Kevin devotees check this blog for new content daily — I refuse to check my logs just to avoid disturbing this cozy little illusion.  I have no evidence that anyone other than Poem Pitzer has actually read anything I’ve written here for the last year or so, and she usually just points out my typos.

Random news items follow!

I am down to one month remaining at my current job, and boy howdy, that last month is bound to be interesting.  In a way, I feel bad — I agreed to stay on for an additional three months in the hopes of transitioning our product out of the hippie quarter of cyberspace (the usual insult that LAMP has to bear) and into DotNet/Sql Server.  I’ve learned a lot, I’ve gone through a lot of ibu profen, and it’s become quite clear that I am not going to be able to see anything through to completion.  I’m starting to refactor my definition of success.  If I can impart a graceful and extensible structure to these works in project, I may still be able to influence battles that will be played out after I am elsewhere.

I have learned to love PHP over the last several years, but I can see pretty clearly how possible it is to fall in love with C# and Visual Studio — when they work as designed, they are things of beauty.  They inflict a lot of the structure and discipline that PHP (being a big, dirty hippie of programming language) allows you to neglect if you wish.  Really, the differences between these languages are hilarious.

In other news — Holly‘s husband, DJ, is in the midst of recovering from a partial colonectomy and is scheduled to begin chemotherapy in 2 weeks.  His docs are reasonably optimistic but, even given the best possible outcomes, there is nothing fun or nice about what he’s going through.  DJ has almost always been a cold, remote personality — but he’s a great dad and a good community man, and it is hard to see this happening to him, especially after Bjorn’s passing.  I don’t suppose he’d appreciate one of these:

Fuck Cancer

Fuck Cancer

In other news:

  • My neighbors got a cat.  They have had her for three days now and they can’t decide what to name her.  She is *adorable* and will make a great neighbor for my kitties!
  • We bought a Nikon D3000 camera recently as an upgrade for the point-and-shoot piece of crap we’ve been using for the last several years.  It’s fantastic!  Anyone who can guess the number of times we’ve sung Simon and Garfunkle’s “Kodachrome” since we got the camera on Friday can have the old point-and-shoot.
  • I have developed an unexpected taste for italian opera.  Cathy has threatened to take my speakers away.

Life with Wild Animals

Kitty just emailed me this:

Good news: Moppet’s butt isn’t at bad now as it was earlier this AM. Bad news: she must have wiped it off on something she sat on.

Good news: I discovered the source of the bad smell in the kitchen and took out the garbage, toter for compost, and your ceramic jar for compost, which eliminated the smell. Bad news: while I was at the CST, some raccoons got into your jar and spread food all over the deck.

Not sure if that makes me want to laugh or weep, or both.  Probably both.

Speaking of wild animals — we’re about two weeks into converting our code from PHP to C# in a very well developed framework.  When I say “well developed,” I don’t necessarily mean well-coded (I am reserving judgement until I understand what I am looking at thoroughly) — rather, I mean that the platform is bulging with implicit functionality and assumptions about methodology that are nowhere spelled out.  It’s funny seeing all our safe, familiar structure broken apart into little pieces and reassembled in this new territory, built of unfamiliar material.  Probably like seeing the book of <a href=”http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113842476″>Genesis reinvented as a “comic” book</a> or seeing the comic book Spawn reinvented as a german opera (so far as I know, that latter item has never been done — but I think it has great commercial potential).