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The Mac: a trendy but shallow generation Y narcissist, this character’s style conceals a inner emptiness. Regular infusions of therapy and constant acts of conspicuous consumption are required to maintain this delicate facade. In fair weather, the Mac is good for his friends’ social status, but his emotional sterility becomes apparent at the first sign of difficulty.

UNIX: a power hungry utilitarian with technocratic instincts and the aesthetic sensibilities of Attila the Hun. While interested in the sciences and philanthropy, these secondary pursuits run parallel to the pursuit of control. The appearance of friendship is maintained for those initiated in the technocratic brotherhood; however, anyone deviating from these core ideological conceits is treated as cyber vermin. And, according to this image, such offenders may be shot at.

Vista: flawed? Yes. Flagrantly violating conventional notions of decency and correctness? Certainly. Sometimes annoying? Perhaps, but only when he’s been up too long and hasn’t had enough caffeine. But look how comfortable Vista is with himself and his own flaws; look how bold he is in expressing himself. Trendiness is discarded as a sham; power is ignored as an intrinsically aristocratic conceit.

Now ask yourself — which of these three characters is happiest?

4 Responses to “Platform Iconography”

  1. Poem says:

    Mac is, biotch.

    As Douglas Adams so eloquently put it:
    “The Mac may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%.”

    Don’t spank it till you have really truly tried it. Work solely on a Mac for a couple of weeks, then come talk to me. thpppppGHt!

  2. Aaron says:

    1. I met Mac dude. He seemed pretty happy.

    2. The Vista guy is Hard-Gay! He’s a Japanese superstar known for wandering the streets interviewing people and thrusting his crotch every which-way. Watch this:

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZQmq5fjTG4o

  3. Joe says:

    @Poem Tried that damn Mac for more than two months. Stable? Useful? my aunt fannie.

    Gimme my Piece o’ Crap anyday.

    I’m just sayin’

  4. Poem says:

    @Joe thppppt

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