Zero Holds His Tongue

Most reasonably computer literate folks will recall the brilliant visual rhetoric of the “I’m a Mac, I’m a PC” ad campaign (which has continued expanding since the last time I looked, and which trashes incisively on Vista’s lamentable stability and usability concerns).

Some bright young person extended the iconography to include Unix and Windows Vista (thanks to Poem for the reference and, err, the nod):

At first reading, this still looks awfully pro-Macintosh, with Vista (as usual) the butt of the joke. However, consider this re-reading:

The Mac: a trendy but shallow generation Y narcissist, this character’s style conceals a inner emptiness. Regular infusions of therapy and constant acts of conspicuous consumption are required to maintain this delicate facade. In fair weather, the Mac is good for his friends’ social status, but his emotional sterility becomes apparent at the first sign of difficulty.

UNIX: a power hungry utilitarian with technocratic instincts and the aesthetic sensibilities of Attila the Hun. While interested in the sciences and philanthropy, these secondary pursuits run parallel to the pursuit of control. The appearance of friendship is maintained for those initiated in the technocratic brotherhood; however, anyone deviating from these core ideological conceits is treated as cyber vermin. And, according to this image, such offenders may be shot at.

Vista: flawed? Yes. Flagrantly violating conventional notions of decency and correctness? Certainly. Sometimes annoying? Perhaps, but only when he’s been up too long and hasn’t had enough caffeine. But look how comfortable Vista is with himself and his own flaws; look how bold he is in expressing himself. Trendiness is discarded as a sham; power is ignored as an intrinsically aristocratic conceit.

Now ask yourself — which of these three characters is happiest?

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